Families Change Guide to Separation & Divorce

4.18 - Talking About Feelings

4.18 - Talking About Feelings

The next video is called, “Talking About Feelings”. It reinforces the message that it is normal for your child to have a bunch of mixed up feelings.

 

Henry: Hi there. Henry here again.

It isn’t pretty when parents separate. You end up having a whole pile of feelings. When my parents separated, I felt sad, happy, angry, depressed, relieved, and guilty. My feelings were all mixed up like a gross bowl of garbage soup. Yuck!

You feel a bunch of unpredictable emotions. You may feel happy and relieved in the morning, but angry and hurt in the afternoon. One minute, you feel good and solid. The next, you feel sad and uncertain. Your stomach feels like it’s been turned inside out. You love your mom and your dad, but at the same time, you’re so mad that they separated. And you’re sad that your family isn’t the way it used to be.

If you feel like this, you’re not weird or different. You’re normal. That’s the way everyone reacts to big changes – even adults.

When I feel like I’m on that roller coaster of emotions, I remind myself: This is normal. These feelings won't last forever. You just have to keep saying it. This is normal. This will not last forever. Things will get better.

Some kids are so mad at their parents for separating, they start doing things like being rude, or mean, or picking fights. Sometimes their grades go down, or they don’t play sports the way they used to. They get into trouble, and it’s not like they’ve done these things before. But here’s something I found out: we can’t choose how we feel, but we can choose how we act.

Plus, there are things you can do to help yourself feel better. You can start by reminding yourself: I didn’t make my parents separate. This is not my fault! And when you have all those mixed up feelings, just remind yourself: This is normal. These feelings will not last forever. Things will get better.

And believe me, they will get better!