Teens often feel a sense of guilt when their parents split up, as though they are somehow responsible for what has happened.
But parents split up because of problems in their relationship — not because of their kids. It's not your fault!
Many teens whose parents split up feel anxious about their own relationships in the future. But just because your parents split up doesn't mean the same thing will happen to you. What happens in your relationships will be up to you, not your parents!
You are not the reason for your parents splitting up. Parents split up because of problems in their relationship.
Most parents split up only after trying very hard to save their relationship. Some teens hope and believe that if they try to be on their very best behaviour, their parents will get back together.
However, this plan isn't likely to work, since their parents' decision to split up had nothing to do with them. Their decision to separate or divorce is usually final.
There are many reasons why parents decide to split up. And with each couple, there might be one main reason, or a whole pile of reasons.
Parents usually try very hard to solve their problems before they take action. If you're not sure what your parents' reasons are for splitting up, you can always ask.
Ideally, your parents will make the decisions together about who you will live with and how that will work. Your opinion should be taken into account.
If they can't decide themselves, they might go to a mediator for help in reaching an agreement. Or they might have to go to court and have a judge make the decisions for them.
Separation and divorce have a profound impact on all family members. Loss of security is often coupled with intense feelings of grief. The stress can be overwhelming for kids, teens and parents.
This website can help.
Get age-appropriate information to guide you through separation and divorce. Be sure the information is correct for your province. Select your age group and explore content in others sections too.